Good Morning. Bulldog Tours, may I help you?

I had forgotten the kind of fun you have working with the public in tourism. I submit the following for your enjoyment:

• Uh, so you do tours? YES, genius, that's why it's called Bulldog TOURS and not Bulldog FLORISTS!
• Is it going to rain? I don't know, let me check my MAGIC EIGHT BALL.
• Are we gonna see some ghosts on this tour? Well, that all depends on how many more PBR's you have there buddy.
• Will my children be scared? Having never met your children...how the hell do I know what scares them?

There a about a million more, but I will stop there for now. Some people might see my responses as too mean or snooty, but when you are asked these same questions over and over, it's like your head will explode if you can't respond the way you really want to!

People (myself included) go on vacation and leave their brains at home. It happens to the best of us. When I was in Hawaii, I prefaced some of my questions with "Forgive me for asking you this really obvious and touristy question, but......". People laughed and then answered in very good humor. It goes right along with walking right in the middle of the street. Driving down the street at 1 mile an hour sightseeing and carrying a camera everywhere.

Living in Charleston, we are sort of conditioned to TOURONS. We group them all together as one big entity. They drive us insane. They infuriate us. They make it harder to get in to the best restaurants whenever we want to. They clog up the roads and the sidewalks. AND

THEY PAY OUR BILLS!

Never forget that. They hold up our economy in their very hands. BE PATIENT! :)