Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Back In The Saddle Again

She's baaaaaaack! Okay folks, after a few months of being "too busy" to write the blog, I am back at it. I was at work downtown today filling in at Bulldog Tours when I got a call from Dan Conover asking for the most common questions that tourists ask. I went blank and then remembered a few that never cease.

1. Walking in to the shop clearly labeled with various signage saying BULLDOG TOURS "Uh, so yall do tours here?" No sir, this is a florist shop. YES WE DO TOURS HERE!

2. "Can you tell me how to get to the old church?" Um, WHICH old Church? St. Phillips 1838, St. Michael's Cornerstone 1752 Bldg 1761, French Hugenot Church 1845, Cathedral Of St. Luke & St. Paul 1815, First Scots 1814, just to name a few!

3. "Where will I find the historic houses?" Walk out of my door onto market st. then walk North, South, Or West and within 1-2 blocks you will find some. Could you be a little more specific please! :)

4. "Do people really live in these houses?" No, they are just false fronts, like a movie set or Disney.

5. "What happens if we are on our walking tour and it rains?" Do I really need to answer this one? YOU GET WET!

6. "Regarding the ghost tours or haunted jail tour. Will my children be scared?" I really have no idea, I have never met your children. Will they?

7. "So this is the slave market, right?" Nope, slaves were NEVER sold in the city market between East Bay and Meeting. They were however sold almost everywhere else in the city!

8. "Regarding the carriages. Do you give your animals water?" No, we like for them to dehydrate and die in street. It's in our best interest financially to have to continually spend $1,000's of dollars on purchasing and training new animals. And the press we get from the animals dropping like flies all over town, well you just can't buy that kind of good will! OF COURSE WE MAKE SURE OUR ANIMALS ARE WATERED AND FED AND CARED FOR!

9. "So are these tours any good?" NO, they suck, why would anyone want to take one of our tours? YES, they are good. That's why we stay in business and my boss takes care of his family so well!

10. As he is handing me $100 for his family to go on tour "When are you Southerners ever going to just get over it and admit that we won the Civil War?" Yes sir, you won alright. Now, wait a minute. Let me see if I get this straight. YOU are visiting MY city and PAYING ME, yep you win! :)

Who is your best guide? What is the best tour? Where is the best food? Where is there a bathroom I can use? Where is the taxi stand?
That is just a few, there are many others.
Understand that I write this with love for these people and their um, unique questions. They do, after all pay the bills for some of the people I love the most!

Happy Hump Day!


Mike said...

LMAO! Great post.

Daniel said...

Your answers were priceless, but I had no idea you were Charleston Girl. Mike pointed out your post at the local blogger meet-up Sunday and so I had to come check you out.

Anyway, you rock, and welcome back to blogging.